How Do I Journal? | A Therapist’s Guide to Self-Reflection
Oftentimes in my practice, when I mention the J-word, it sparks the same reaction as if I said the dirtiest swear I know in front of my great aunt.
Okay, maybe not that severe of a reaction. But almost.
Most people experience a mix of panic and dread at the thought of journaling. The panic usually comes from questions like, “What do I write?” Or from misconceptions, such as:
“Journaling is just ruminating. I don’t want to spiral more.”
“Journaling makes me sad.”
Darling, journaling did not make you sad; journaling helped you discover you were sad. That’s a very different thing.
Why Journaling Matters
Most of us operate unaware of our inner experiences, and that unawareness drives much of the mental anguish that brings people to therapy. Becoming aware takes practice, patience, and a willingness to tolerate discomfort.
Thinking about your problems isn’t the same as writing them down. Journaling helps you “close the loop.” Instead of holding a thought hostage in your head, writing it down allows you to set it down. You can return to it later, notice patterns, and build awareness you simply can’t track in memory alone.
And yes, sometimes remembering hurts. But forgetting robs you of learning. How else do you notice the beliefs that keep you stuck in unfulfilling relationships, or the ways your nervous system tenses when you feel unsafe? Therapy teaches you to see these things. Journaling helps you practice keeping that lens.
What Journaling Is (and Isn’t)
Journaling isn’t about fixing yourself, forcing positivity, or documenting a perfect life. It’s about having a dialogue with yourself and showing curiosity, not critique.
Think of it as a mirror: it reflects what’s already there, giving you the space to decide if you want to keep moving in that direction.
How to Start Journaling
You can keep it simple: ask yourself a question, then respond. That’s it.
If you’re not sure where to start, try one of these:
Write what happened today — then add how you felt about it.
Ask: “What do I feel in my body right now?” Then, “What is this feeling trying to communicate?”
Explore tension: “I feel tightness in my chest. How does this tension make me want to react? When do I notice it most often? What is this tension asking for?”
Try a gratitude lens: “What three moments gave me relief today?”
Or simply finish this sentence: “Right now, I am…”
Remember: five minutes is enough. Messy is better than perfect. You don’t need to do it every day.
Closing Thought
Journaling is not about producing a polished record of your life. It’s about carving out a little space to listen inward. So maybe tonight, before you scroll, try writing down one question:
“What am I feeling right now, and what might that feeling be trying to tell me?”
And if you’re up for a real zinger:
“What emotional state am I trying to accomplish by scrolling?”
See what comes up. You might even jot down the feelings this post stirred in you.
Keep Going
✨ Download my free self-trust starter pack: Small Ways Out — a mini-guide with prompts here.
📖 Check out my journal, No Answers Necessary — a trauma-informed reflection guide with prompts for self-discovery. Coming soon… learn more here.
🪷 Looking for therapy? Learn more about me and my individual, couples, and group offerings.