Why Don’t I Feel Rested After a Long Weekend?

Why long weekends aren’t always the reset we imagine — and what your nervous system might be trying to tell you.

The Long Weekend Pressure

Long weekends promise rest — but for many people, they come with pressure instead.

“I should go to the beach because it’s so nice out.”
“If I don’t do something memorable, I’ve wasted it.”

You might spend hours doomscrolling, feeling guilty for not “making the most” of your day. Or you cancel the plans that sounded fun earlier in the week so you can finally deep-clean the house. It looks like you have more time — but somehow, you feel even more depleted.

What Memorial Day Might Stir Up (Even If You Don’t Expect It)

Memorial Day isn’t just an extra Monday off — for many people, it brings up things they can’t quite name.

Some feel a quiet heaviness. Others feel guilt for not doing anything "fun." For a few, it’s an undercurrent of grief that doesn’t seem to belong to any one person or moment.

Sometimes, that heaviness is grief for the world itself — a world that feels increasingly broken.

Memorial Day glorifies sacrifice, often in symbolic ways — flags, fireworks, hashtags. But for those watching mental health, housing, and basic care remain underfunded and inaccessible, that symbolism can land hollow. Honoring loss doesn’t always mean feeling reverent. Sometimes it means feeling angry. Or numb. Or both.

And then there’s the loneliness — the scroll through other people’s trips, brunches, and backyard hangs.

Holidays become mirrors: they reflect how connected or disconnected we feel — not just from others, but from ourselves.

If you don’t have big plans, or a big people to plan with, it can feel like you’re doing something wrong. You’re not. You’re just seeing the contrast more clearly.

The Real Problem: We’re Not Asking What We Need

Most people don’t pause to ask themselves: What would actually feel good to me right now?

Maybe you don’t want the beach. Maybe you want to sip tea and talk to a friend on the couch. Maybe your body is asking for a midday dog walk, not a grand adventure. That doesn’t mean you’re lazy or boring — it means you’re listening. And that’s a good thing.

You also don’t have to trade in rest for productivity. Please don’t cancel everything so you can deep-clean your whole home. Time off doesn’t automatically equal rest. In fact, it can often lead to more overthinking — especially if you don’t have a trip or clear plan in place. (That doesn’t mean you need to make one.)

What Burnout Actually Looks Like

I see this all the time: high-functioning clients who perform all week long — then crash.

They say, “I finally have time, but I don’t feel rested.” That’s not a personal failure. That’s a nervous system in burnout.

When we spend most of our time in sympathetic overdrive — doing, pushing, managing everything — and finally stop, our bodies often swing into a dorsal freeze state. That’s the part of the nervous system where burnout lives.

You shut down. You scroll. You feel numb or unmotivated.
That’s not laziness. It’s a signal.

You don’t need a new productivity system. You need a gentler baseline.

Rest Is a Practice — Not a Weekend Off

Rest isn’t just time off. It’s an active relationship with your body.

It looks like tuning into your tension and responding to it — not zoning out, not pushing through.
It sounds like: “My neck feels tight. I need to stretch now,” instead of “I’ll deal with it later.”

Zoning out isn’t a choice. It’s what happens when your energy supply has been completely taxed.
Restoration is a choice — but only once you’ve acknowledged that you’re empty. That’s when you begin to refuel. That’s when energy can start to return.

The Real Question Isn’t “How Do I Enjoy My Weekend?”

It’s: How do I enjoy my day-to-day life?

If you only feel like a person on weekends or holidays — and even then, you feel exhausted or overwhelmed — therapy can help.

You deserve to be more than a performer or achiever.
You deserve to be, not just produce.

Ready for Rest That Actually Restores?

If this post resonates — if your nervous system never really feels off duty, even when your calendar says “off” — therapy can help.

Not in a generalized, one-size-fits-all way. But in a way that’s tailored to you — your rhythms, your capacity, your lived experience.

Together, we can explore what your body, mind, and heart actually need.
You don’t have to keep pushing just to earn your rest.

Reach Out Now.

I offer therapy for individuals and couples in New York and run small, supportive group spaces for women and professionals. If you're curious about working together, you can reach out here.

Or, if you're not ready yet, you're welcome to join my newsletter and download my Values-Informed Dating Worksheet — both are free and designed to help you reconnect with what really matters.

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